We have a solution. We don’t claim it’s for everybody, but for us, it works. If you identify with us and think you may share our problem, we’d like to share our solution with you (Sexaholics Anonymous, last sentence, page 2).
In defining sobriety, we do not speak for those outside Sexaholics Anonymous. We can only speak for ourselves. Thus, for the married sexaholic, sexual sobriety means having no form of sex with self or with persons other than the spouse. In SA’s sobriety definition, the term “spouse” refers to one’s partner in a marriage between a man and a woman. For the unmarried sexaholic, sexual sobriety means freedom from sex of any kind. And for all of us, single and married alike, sexual sobriety also includes progressive victory over lust (Sexaholics Anonymous, 191-192).
The only requirement for SA membership is a desire to stop lusting and become sexually sober according to the SA sobriety definition.
Any two or more sexaholics gathered together for SA sobriety according to SA sobriety definition may call themselves an SA group.
Meetings that do not adhere to and follow Sexaholics Anonymous’ sobriety statement as set forth in the foregoing Statement of Principle adopted by the General Delegate Assembly in 2010 are not SA meetings and shall not call themselves SA meetings.
Addendum to the Statement of Principle passed by the General Delegate Assembly on July 8, 2016.
Stay sober one day at a time. Most sexaholics find the idea of weeks, months, or even years of sexual sobriety difficult to comprehend, but anyone can stay sober just for one day, today.
Get a sponsor. New members are encouraged to get a temporary sponsor right away. Seek out a same-sex SA member that has something in their life which you want in your own, with more sobriety, to serve as a guide. A sponsor will be actively working the steps, be available to answer questions and assist you in recovery by listening to you and sharing his/her experience, strength and hope.
Go to meetings. Attend as many meetings as you can (see the Meetings section). Listen to others as they share. You’re not alone if you use the tools SA has to offer. Select one or two meetings you can attend regularly - have a “home” group. Focus on the solution, not the problem. Most SA meetings are closed unless otherwise noted, which means they are for sexaholics only. Family members and friends may contact S-Anon.
Use the telephone. Using the telephone helps us to stay sober between meetings by enabling us to stay close to the fellowship. Pick up a phone list at the meetings. Ask other members for their numbers. As uncomfortable as it may be in the beginning, make phone calls!
Read the literature. Read the literature of the program, which explains SA’s 12-step program of recovery. The literature consists of Sexaholics Anonymous (called the “White Book”), Member Stories – 1989, Recovery Continues. Members are also urged to read Alcoholics Anonymous (the AA “Big Book”) and “Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions”. These books are generally available from your meeting Librarian.
Recite the Serenity Prayer. “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
Use the tools of the Program … Call another SA member each day. Attend meetings regularly. Read a piece of literature each day. Work the Steps with your sponsor. Take the actions of recovery. Get involved with service work.
Tips on staying sober … Avoid situations leading to acting on lust (masturbation, sex outside marriage, etc.). These include people, places or things, “triggers”, such as: all forms of pornography, cruising, prostitutes, even so-called “relationships” based solely on sex. As new AA’s avoid pubs, so do SA’s avoid pornography shops and massage parlors.